[edit!]
THANKS NILA!, WENXIN and YI XIAN!
for wishing me a happy birthday too :D
[/edit!]

After typing out a long and emo post on my hp which took up 14 pages...
I didn't save the back 7 pages.
Then I deleted everything.

Crap.
I have such a terrible headache now I can't think straight.
I haven't done any homework and I have no idea why I am in front of this freaking laptop.

You know what?
I'm tired of this...
This freaking prejudice and assumption that because I'm in band,
I must know what the hell is pitch, rhythm, octaves, chromatics, etc.
Okay, I DO know wth they mean.
But asking me to identify wth is the note and singing it out?
That's totally impossible for someone like me without a proper music background.
You want to know wth is my music background?
My music background is memorising and familiarising myself with the rhythm after hearing how my counterpart plays it.
And you know what? I have no one to depend on now.
I mean, I still do. Until after SYF...

And you know something else?
I'm tired of thinking of solutions.
For myself, the class, band stuff, EVERYTHING.
Life is getting over my limits.
I'm getting more and more white hair.
Is that normal?
Ugh. It sucks to be overly dependent.
I find it hard to break away.
How would I survive?
I have no idea.

2009 is just starting.
And I'm thinking about this?
How thoughtful...
Or foolish maybe.

There were more emo thoughts.
But I guess that's enough for now.

Feel like screaming and screaming.
But all I can do is smile.

Grin and bear it.

How pathetic.