#3 - Apology

There are so many things in life that may feel impossible to do, but there are only a few things which is really hard to do, and they require many sacrifices.

Having enough humility, courage and strength to apologise to someone for something you have done wrong or hurt someone with, is one of the hardest thing for a human to do.

At least it feels that way to me anyway. It is especially the case when you know that the apology is long overdue, and for something that have terribly hurt the other party.


I've regretted not apologising a few days ago, and I will make sure I do so the moment I get the chance to.

I guess the reason why it's so difficult to apologise is because we all have that little pride within us, and one would often not want to be the first to admit that one was the person at fault, especially when she knows the other party was at fault to some extent too. By doing so would kind of be like putting yourself at a lower position than the other party; humbling yourself.

Another reason could be that sometimes when you realise how wrong your mistake was, it is very hard to muster that courage to admit it and say sorry to the people you have hurt. You don't want to face them after all the hurt you have brought to them, and you just keep pushing that matter to the back of your head, avoiding it as much as possible.

I guess that some people are also not mentally strong enough to face the unknown consequences after apologizing to someone. This is kind of related to having courage. If you don't have enough strength (physical, mental, spiritual), you won't be able to muster enough courage and eventually face up to what you did and get rid of that pride to just say a very simple "I'm sorry".

But that's not what we want. Life is already as short as it is. Imagine this. During your childhood, you got into a terrible quarrel with your sister and you know very well you were the one who started it and hurt her with many horrible words. 20 years down the road, you never ever dared to say sorry, even after becoming more sensible, and understanding it was all completely you fault. Unfortunately, life is unpredictable and your sister suffered a very serious stroke, and became a vegetable, or dumb, forever. At that time, it's too late to apologise. Your sister will never know that you were remorseful. She'll never be able to feel your apology even if she can still hear you say that you're sorry.

Of course, touch wood that such a thing would happen. But honestly, do you want to regret not apologizing to someone when you can? The only thing you will gain from it is depression. Depression from hiding from your wrong, depression from remembering your mistake, depression from regretting not being able to just say sorry.

I'm actually saying all this to myself.

I didn't have the humility, or courage, or strength to say sorry when it was the perfect chance to. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I was ruled by that angry voice inside me.

But I don't want to regret. I don't want to lose all my pride by regretting not humbling myself for just that one moment to apologise. I don't want to be a coward forever and not face up to a mistake I know very well was made by myself. I don't want to always have to remember all the bad things I've ever done, and know that I didn't do anything to make things better for the other party.

So I will willingly humble myself, and muster up all my courage and strength and just sincerely say that one simple "I'm sorry" with all my heart.

I'm sure my heart and soul will feel so relieved after it all.

Apologizing may be one of the hardest things to do, but life will be easier for you if you apologize. So, apologize when you know you should.