i'm really lazy to blog.
i only have one thing to say.

these few days have been hell,
to me.
many things happened.
like how i always embarress myself during sectionals,
and hold back everyone because i can't get that part right.

i can't seem to get anything right at all.
i know how to play it, but i can't play it corrctly.
hahas.
like how vivian knows how to accent but just can't do it.

hmm.
i really miss direct taking.
i can't get everything by myself.
why do i have to rely on seniors? D:

you know,
during main band prac,
i almost always feel like crying.
these few days, i mean.
i couldn't play anything as well as gloria,
not even half of what she can play.
the worst thing is not people telling me i suck,
it's knowing it myself,
and not trying as hard as i should try to do better.

soon,
i think i'll get mild depression.
what with me always thinking so negatively.

i'm lazy to reply the tags, anyways.
i wonder, really,
are we seriously better than the seniors when they were sec ones?
hmm.
perhaps trombones, percs they all might be.
but me?
definitely not.

hmm,
yingqin.
i'm not pro,
even if i can play all the notes doesn't mean i'm pro.
i can play all the notes on the alto sax as well.
but i'm not pro in it right?
o.o
you rock more :D
(and i stone.)

maybe i should stop depressing and start learning all the fingerings.
i wish my sax was light enough for me to lug home.

BLAHHHHHHHHH.

:D

[batch hoodie FTW! :D]